I thought the more I did in duty, the harder it would be for God to cast me off. At the same time, I thought I saw that there was no goodness or merit in my duties. I saw that there was no necessary connection between my prayers and the bestowment of divine mercy. That they laid not the least obligation upon God to bestow His grace upon me and that there was no more virtue or goodness in them than there would be in my paddling with my hand in the water, which was the comparison I had then in my mind. I had been heaping up my devotions before God and indeed really thinking that I was aiming at the glory of God when I never once truly intended it, but only my own happiness. I saw that I had no claim on anything from Him, but perdition on account of my hypocrisy and mockery. All my duties were nothing but self worship and a horrid abuse of God. I continued in this state of mind from Friday morning till the Sabbath evening following, July 12, 17/39. When I was walking again in the same solitary place where I was brought to see myself lost and helpless, as I was walking in a dark thick grove, unspeakable glory seemed to open to the view and apprehension of my soul. My soul rejoiced with joy unspeakable to see such a God, such a glorious divine being, and I was inwardly pleased and satisfied. I was amazed that I had not dropped my own self righteous efforts and complied with this lovely, blessed and excellent way before. If I could have been saved by my own duties or any other way that I had formally contrived, my whole soul would now have refused. I wondered that all the world did not see and comply with this way of salvation entirely by the righteousness of Christ. David Brainerd.